And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit!” Having said this, He breathed His last.Luke 23:46
It came down to His final breath. His life lived to reveal the Father’s love to the world, to free those enslaved to sin, and to invite us into His kingdom. Jesus had been tortured, brutalized, mocked and scorned. He had been deserted, betrayed, falsely accused, and unjustly treated as a criminal. Yet even to the end, He looked upon us in love, forgave those who hated Him, and remained fully emptied and surrendered. In those final moments, He breathed His last and committed His Spirit to His Father.
As I continued the journey with Jesus to the cross, using the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, I too, reached the end with Him. I remained there for several weeks, asking God what it meant for me to take my final breath with Jesus. There was an understanding that eluded me—a missing puzzle piece that I knew needed to fit into place before I could go to the tomb and on to the final section of the Exercises—Resurrection. I knew it had to do with ultimate surrender, but struggled to grasp how that related to me.
What was I gripping that Jesus wanted me to be willing to give to Him?
One day I sat with the story of the rich young ruler in Mark 10. I experienced his genuine desire to seek God’s kingdom, then his resulting sorrow as he realized he wasn’t willing to part with his riches. Ouch! This was hitting close to home. Literally.
I realized that, among other things, I was clinging to my home, a source of great security and comfort to me. A place where we had raised our children, created a warm inviting ambiance, and now enjoyed its comfort and serenity each day. He hadn’t asked, but if God were to ask me to give up my house, would I be willing?
I looked again at the story. As the rich young ruler walked away,
Jesus looked around and said to His disciples,
“How difficult it will be for those who are wealthy
[and cling to possessions and status as security]
to enter the kingdom of God!”
They were completely and utterly astonished, and said to Him,
“Then who can be saved [from the wrath of God]?”
Looking at them, Jesus said,
“With people [as far as it depends on them] it is impossible,
but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
Mark 10:23, 26-27 (AMP)
The final sentence jumped out at me: my abillity to surrender, if it depended on me, was impossible without God’s help.
Armed with new understanding, I asked God to help me, to give me a willing heart, something that felt close to impossible at the moment. As I sat with Him, I sensed Him leading me to Psalm 16, where it says,
“Only you are my Lord! Every good thing I have is a gift from you.”
Suddenly, it made sense. The elusive missing piece. Everything I have is from Him. I had been clinging to things that I had come to mistakenly believe were MINE, that there were some things that I felt belonged to me, that I was entitled to have. I had been holding them tightly, like a child gripping a favorite toy, refusing to share.
The truth is that EVERYTHING I have, EVERYTHING I am, EVERYTHING good in my life is because of Him. He is the giver of life. All I “own” is gift from Him. How can I cling to something that is not truly mine? How can I be stingy with what God has so generously given to me?
That day I released all into His hands:
life and health,
family, friends, and mentors,
home, car, and finances,
heart, mind, and soul.
Everything that He has given me:
strengths and weaknesses,
gifts and talents,
hopes and dreams,
future, past, and present,
and MY VERY BREATH…
TO CONSIDER:
Is there anything you are clinging to?
If God asked you to lay it on the altar, would you be willing?
Have you considered asking for His help?
